If I was a business, would anyone want to buy me?
It was the thought I woke up with the other morning and it wasn't going to let me go easily. So here's how the (internal) conversation went:
ME: What are your financials like? Can you show consistent profit for the past 3-5 years?
ALSO ME: Ahh....well.....that's not fair. You know that loan is taking all the extra wage. You know that overseas trip was paid by credit card. You know how expensive it is to live today. You know how little I get paid; if I was paid as much as that other guy.......
ME: OK so can you show a clear plan to eliminate your debt?
ALSO ME: Of course! Everything I owe will be covered by my superannuation payout.
ME: Your financials raise a red flag but maybe your facility review will help. Are there any maintenance issues I should know about? If so, what plan do you have to improve your facility?
ALSO ME: You crack me up; are you serious? "Know about,"...(shakes head)...You know all about my back/knees/eyes/ and all the other blessings of being over 40. My plan? I like to put other people first so I can't justify spending money (that I don't have) on myself when I need to support other members of my family. I tried resting my aching body like I heard a doctor say once. I tried resting it a lot and all it did was swell up. I gained 10kg doing what the doctor said!
ME: Gotta say things aren't looking promising; debt and a run down facility. But there is still a chance. Perhaps you are doing something unique with your life. Maybe you have just been so focused on the prize that you have taken your eyes off of the process? What makes your business stand out from the other businesses? Why should I buy your business? What is your point of difference?
ALSO ME: Whoa, hold on soldier, too many questions. OK, I've thought about it. You should choose my business because I am extremely good at time management. Most other businesses wouldn't attempt to be involved in as many things as me. I'm in so many groups and clubs I need a special diary to keep track. Nothing gets missed out. I even manage to be home in time to wake my partner to say good night. It is a real skill I have. Plus, I think you missed the point with my debt-profit-whatever-that-stuff-was. You need to turn the negative into a positive (hey, I can outsmart myself!), I have a real skill at ensuring all my equipment is up to date. What you call debt is actually the cost of doing business. Stop laughing! It's just a business expense. The doctor said rest so I thought I'd take the opportunity to continue my edukashun. No point straining my poor old eyes so I bought the big TV. Netflix has some amazing documentaries. Did you know that Iceland isn't actually ice? Go figure; I'm smarter because of that TV.
ME: I'm starting to wish I was a split personality. So actually you are exactly like every other business?
ALSO ME: I'm just meeting the demand of the masses. If people want to buy burgers, give them burgers. I'm just doing what every other business does. Give the people more of what they want is what I say.
ME: I think it's time to wake up now!